Revelations
by ChEmMiE
Summary: Tony had thought this was the coolest thing he'd ever tried, but started getting bored. Not only did he not expect to spent his time in Paris like this, but Ziva was so focused on her mission she had yet to tell him what it was about or acknowledge him.


Well, my first ever oneshot...  
I got this idea one evening and decided I had to write it down right away... However, it got much longer than I ever intended as I just kept writing what ever came to mind.

Yes, I know there has been tons of Jet Lag oneshots already, but I'm most certain this is far from anything that has already been done.

I'm not a native English speaker and this hasn't been beta'd... I also never took the time to read through it after I wrote it, so I'm guessing there are quite a few mistakes.  
Hopefully it's still 'readable', though :P

Enjoy, and reviews are VERY MUCH LOVED, even if it's just to critisize it... I'd be happy with both positive or negative feedback, even if it's just a one word review :P

Disclaimer: Don't own...

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**Revelations**

Tony was worried.

Ever since he and Ziva had gotten on the plane back in D.C., his partner had been very un-Ziva-like. At first he figured her snappiness and short temper was just a result of being told to spent multiple days with him without any warning, and in typical DiNozzo fashion he'd made some obscure joke about ninja-PMS. It had backfired, though, as she had just gone quiet after that, and had practically ignored him.

"Ziva." They'd finally gotten a cab, no thanks to Ziva as she'd just been staring into space from the moment they exited the airport in France, and even now she seemed to be focusing on something in the opposite direction of him and their waiting cab. "Ziva!" Seeming to snap out of her head space she turned around to meet his gaze, but the vacant look took him aback. "Are you coming?" She seemed to hesitate for a few seconds before the look in her eyes turned to harsh determination.

"Just go." He raised his eyebrow, confused, but sensed she wasn't done yet. "I have something I need to do."

"Come on, Ziva, we're in Paris! Let's go sightseeing." He knew a joke wouldn't make her change her mind, but that was just how he worked.

"You just do that and I will meet you at the hotel later." She was obviously distraught, her usually calm appearance slipping slightly, although only noticeable for those who knew her really well. Knowing he wasn't going to change her mind, Tony took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Get in." She scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion as he held the door of the cab open wider for her, but he didn't give her a chance to deny him. "I'm coming with you." Under normal circumstances he would have never dared demanding her around like that, he simply valued his life too much, but at the moment he was curious. Intrigued. _Worried_.

"That is not necessary." He just nodded towards the open cab door in which the driver was obviously getting impatient. "Seriously, Tony, you _should not_ come with me." For a while he just stared at her, knowing she'd understand he wouldn't back down.

"Okay." Her perfect mask was back in place, so Tony had no idea what she was thinking or how she was feeling as she pushed him away and slipped into the cab calmly giving the driver directions in perfect, flawless french.

* * *

Tony had been so caught up in his thoughts, trying to figure out what was going on with Ziva, that he hadn't even noticed the cab had stopped until his partner slipped out of the car, already having paid the driver.

"Thanks, buddy." He clapped the already annoyed driver on the shoulder before quickly leaving the cab, having to run run to catch up with Ziva who was already walking quickly up to stairs to what seemed to be nothing but a boring, downtown office building.

"Ziva!" Instead of slowing down, she increased her speed. "Ziva, wait!" She barely even spared him a glance as he reached her, and she never said a word to him. Realizing he wasn't going to get her to open up, he settled for just following her.

Nothing really seemed off, except for the fact that she seemed to know _exactly_ where she was going, at least until she stepped unannounced into a 4th floor office. The man sitting behind the desk, seemingly in his mid-sixties, calmly looked up from the paperwork he was doing. What surprised Tony the most was that he looked as if this was a common occurrence.

"May I help you?" While Tony's french wasn't the best, he still understood the basics, which helped him decipher the thick french accent as the man spoke the them in English.

"Mr. Gervais." Tony had to fight to not show the surprise he felt as Ziva called the man another name than the one on his door, and even more so at the man's knowing smirk. "Emmeline Stein." It was just now he realized his partner had put on an unflappable, thick German accent to go with her fake German name.

"Ahh, Ms. Emmeline." Getting up from the table, the man approached Ziva before placing a kiss on each of her cheeks. "It's been forever."

"That it has." As he took a step back and questionably raised an eyebrow, Ziva tilted her head to the side as she sent a quick glance towards her still very confused partner. "It's okay, he's trustworthy." He didn't know what shocked him the most, the fact that he was supposedly to be trusted, or that she was able to use contractions.

The mysterious man didn't question Ziva, just nodded before going over to one of the bookcases and grabbing a key, hidden within one of the books. After using it to turn something within one of the drawers in his desk, hidden from Tony's view, which caused another bookcase to push away from the wall, Tony couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face. This was like being stuck in a spy movie. It only got better when he used an eye-scanner behind the removed bookcase which got a metal sliding door to open on the now exposed wall. Okay, a _really_ cool spy movie.

"Go ahead." Giving him a flirtatious smile, Ziva walked over to the wall, now filed with a bunch of small boxes. Scanning her own eye in another eye-scanner placed right in the center, a keyboard popped up on the touchscreen below the scanner, a keyboard containing every letter and number from every 'alphabet' in the world.

Tony's eyes continued to dilate as Ziva started pressing in a code. She continued going for what he was sure was at least 50 different letters and numbers, all of which seemed to be in no order whatsoever. He suddenly got a new appreciation and respect for Ziva's previous life. As one of the boxes clicked open, Ziva wasted no time in grabbing a small envelope from within, leaving a bunch of other stuff behind as she shut it once more.

"Let's go, honey." Stuffing the intriguing, empty-looking envelope into her bag, she gave the older man an appreciative nod before turning back to Tony, placing her arm around his waist, appearing all calm and collected as she led him out of the room and the building. At the moment, Tony was too stunned at the unfolding events to comment on how she referred to him or her arm that currently circled his waist.

* * *

After their trip to the 'office', they'd stopped by some other kind of safe in a bank, not nearly as high tech or secretive, but it turned out the only way to open the safe deposit box was with a key, the only thing present in the envelope from the first box.

Once again Ziva had been all business like, having left most of what was in the box, having only taken what she needed, a whole lot of papers to confirm some air-tight identity.

That Croatian identity had then been used to enter some other completely high security safe deposit box, just as secure, if not even more so than the first one, although this time it was in a bank. And once again she'd only gone for part of what was in the box, attaining yet another two different identities, just unflappable as all the others she'd already used.

Even though Tony had started out thinking this was just about the coolest thing he'd ever tried, he was starting to get bored. Not only was this the farthest from how he'd expected to spent his short time in Paris, but Ziva was so focused on her 'mission', that she had yet to tell him what it was about, or even acknowledge him.

"Oh, _sweet_!" He'd been about to call it quits, much rather wanting to see Paris than run from safe deposit box to safe deposit box, but all thoughts of abandoning Ziva disappeared immediate when the door to the storage room belonging to one of Ziva's multiple identities, a Greek one, opened, to reveal nothing but motorcycle.

"Did we go through all this trouble just for _this_?" If that was the case, he so forgave her for all the running around, especially since it _had_ been pretty cool.

"No." He led the way into the storage room, carefully running his hand over the shiny metal of the bike. "I brought the extra identity I needed for this one as a little bonus. I figured that was the least I could do after wasting all your time here, even though _you_ insisted on coming along." He gave her a big beaming smile as he experimentally sat down on it.

"Well hop on, Ninja! Just tell me where to go."

* * *

While the apartment they were entering had way less security attached to it than anything else they'd done that day, it was still much more secure that any of the other apartments in the same building. Ziva _had_ after all needed the last fake, Swiss identity to a key out of the manager which was needed in addition to one she already had to enter their supposed destination.

"Well, 'x' marks the spot." Ziva had returned to her stoic, silent mode as they neared the apartment building, and Tony felt the need to make up for it with his usual jokes. After ushering him inside the second she unlocked the door, she quickly plugged in another long code before scanning her fingerprints on a scanner hidden behind a picture right next to the door.

"To prevent the place from blowing up in a few seconds." Leaving him stunned and confused by the door, Ziva slowly but determined made her way down the dim hallway. But then again it _was_ Ziva, so none of this should surprise him. Pulling himself out of his thoughts, he hurried after Ziva's retreating form, entering the living room just as his partner tentatively picked up an old, worn, stuffed panda bear that had been sitting on top of the couch resting against the far wall.

"Ziva..." It was obviously huge, luxurious place, but Tony would take his time appreciating that later.

"It was Tali's." She was reminiscent, lost in her thoughts as her eyes were glued to the small bear. "One of the... _the_ only thing I have left of her." She tensed up as Tony placed a hand on her shoulder a minute later, having forgotten all about his presence.

"What is this place, Ziva?" Sighing, Ziva made her way around her partner before going through one of the other doors connecting to the living room, entering what appeared to be a bedroom.

"Me and Ari's place." Tony stayed in the doorway, leaning up against the frame as he watched Ziva strolling through the room before lowering herself onto the bed. He sent her a confused, questioning look when she turned towards her but she didn't seem to pick it up, still partially mentally absent.

"Mossad safe house?" Stepping into the room he started looking around, running his finger along the desk top before flicking the layer of dust off his fingertip. A low chuckle made him turn back towards his partner.

"No one but me and Ari know about this place."

"Hence the security." As Ziva gave him a small nod, he turned back to the desk besides him. Picking up a book and opening it somewhere in the middle, he realized he didn't even know which language it was in, so he placed it back on the table. "And I'm guessing no one knows about everything else from today either?" Realizing just how dusty and thick the air was, he turned back to Ziva.

"When were you last here?" The look in her eyes turned sad, and Tony suddenly wasn't sure if he even _wanted _to know.

"Before Ari died." Risking his life, Tony strolled towards the bed and gave Ziva's hand, the one that had let go of the stuffed panda, a small but reassuring squeeze. Sure she'd started opening up more, actually sharing her thoughts and telling him things every once in a while, but he could only imagine what it did to her to sit in what looked like Ari's old room.

"We were planning on running away, you know?" She scooted over so she was leaning against the headboard, seemingly lost in her thoughts. Tony didn't know what to do. Didn't know whether or not he should say something or just keep quiet, scared he'd pull her out of her thoughts just so she could firmly put her walls back in place. "We wanted out."

"Of Mossad." It wasn't as much a question as a statement, but Ziva nodded absentmindedly anyways.

"We were supposed to meet here after..." She caught off her own sentence, biting her lip before starting over. "I was so confused, Tony." The mention of his name was the only sign that she was still mentally present, that she wasn't completely lost in her memories. "We had been planning this for years, ever since Tali died, but we had to wait till he finished his mission. Knowing exactly which mission Ziva talked about, Tony plunged down on the bed next to her, causing her to turn towards him and really look at him for the first time.

"Then what made you confused?"

"Everything." While Tony loved how open and willing Ziva was to talk, it scared him. This must have been more emotional to her than he'd thought, if it was able to make her walls completely disappear. "I believed him, Tony." When she made eye contact with her partner it was obvious to Tony how much her past still troubled him.

"He made me see the real Mossad, the real Eli." Her eyes drifted away from him again and he opted for just grabbing her hand, something she seemed completely oblivious to. "I was so... It was my life back then. I'd been groomed for it since I was a baby." There was no point in commenting on that, as he remembered exactly how she'd been when he'd first met her.

"I followed any order as if it was some kind of prophecy, and sure I was good, but then Eli used my anger and grief over Tali's death to turn me into that perfect worrier he wanted." While Tony's desire to kill a certain director continued to increase the more he learned about Ziva, he sensed that that wasn't the point of the story. "Ari tried to make me refuse, tried to keep me from getting completely brainwashed. It worked. Kind of." Tugging her hand he got her to send him a quick glance before staring back into the air.

"I had an attachment to Mossad, I could not just let it go, believe it really _was_ wrong or rough like Ari told me, it was the only thing I knew."

"But you still believed him?"

"He was my brother." She shrugged as if it was the most obvious explanation, and Tony guessed it would have been under normal circumstances. "He was the only person left who had always been there for me. Who understood me, cause he'd been through what I had." She took a deep breath, looking sideways at her partner. "But who do you trust? Your father or your brother?" When Tony didn't say anything she continued.

"I chose to trust Ari, but since I was already troubled over what to believe I had no trouble switching sides when I realized my own brother had crossed over to the black side." A tiny smirk threatened to appear on his lips at her idiomatic mistake, but the seriousness of their current situation was enough suppress it. "I knew he was no longer dedicated to Mossad or our father, not like me, but I had never thought he would join the enemy." The pain was obvious in her voice and Tony wished he could make some of all that hurt from throughout her entire short life go away.

"I figured he had been lying all along, deceiving me, so I did not have much of a problem returning my trust and loyalty to my father. And I couldn't go back here after that, it was just too painful." He sensed the insecurity in her voice, but even without that he'd known that she'd never completely lose her trust or faith in her brother. A small doubt would in her father would certainly have lingered.

"It was not until recently I realized that he had always been right, or that in some way I had always known." Her voice sounded closer to breaking than Tony had ever heard before, and it made his stomach flip. "Unfortunately it was just too late. Eli had already corrupted him." Pulling the hand he already held, he forced Ziva to look at him, and the look in her eyes broke his heart. Sure he hated Ari, he always would, but part of that anger was quickly transferring onto Eli David.

"And I killed him." She'd told him the real events a few months earlier, but he hadn't realized just how much it still tortured her until he saw the completely devastated look in her eyes. "I am going to go take a shower." Before he'd even processed the previous sentence her walls were put back up, or at least she attempted to do so. As she jumped off the bed and headed towards the bathroom, the panda bear carefully placed on the pillow, Tony made no move to get up or stop her. He knew she needed her space.

And he needed to recover as well. It wasn't often Ziva chose to share so much about her life or her past.

* * *

Having collected himself, Tony rose from the bed to once again explore the room he was in. It wasn't that there was much in it, or in the apartment in general, as the siblings had obviously never gotten around to use it, but it seemed some of their most important stuff had been moved there.

Going through the few cabinets and drawers in the desk, it didn't surprise him when most of them were completely empty. Whenever he _did_ find something though, he looked through it. Not because he was a nosy person, at least not _this_ time, but because this was _Ari's_ stuff. Sure, Ziva might get a bit angry with him, but could anyone really blame him? It wasn't often one got to learn what their partner's killer was like as a person.

Being the great investigator he was, Tony instantly noticed that one of the empty drawers wasn't as big inside as the others were, wasn't nearly as deep. It didn't take much fiddling around before Tony managed to remove the fake bottom, revealing two identical, thick notebooks, matching the size of the drawer perfectly so the secret space wasn't as easily detectable.

Carefully picking up one of the light brown colored notebooks, Tony left the drawer open as he returned to the bed. Arranging himself so he was comfortable against the headboard, he crossed his legs in front of him as he opened up the book on a random page. He quickly got so engrossed with the book however, that he didn't notice the shower having stopped until Ziva's wet and dirty towel got thrown in his face. Peeling it off his face he threw it back at her, instantly noticing her tactic of pretending their previous conversation had never taken place.

"What are you reading." She caught the towel with ease before it even came near her face. He was glad Ziva was looking the other way, cause he had no idea how his face looked a the moment.

"Ari's diary... it seems." When Ziva just laughed packing her clothes back into her backpack, Tony figured she'd just misunderstood his tone, probably thought he wasn't that that was what he _was_ reading.

"I cannot believe he kept those. I threw mine away years before joining NCIS."

"Wait, you kept a diary?" His voice was still guarded, but his curiosity was too great to pass up on a comment like that.

"Eli gave me and Ari one when I learned how to write. Even told us how to use it." She let out a small chuckle, subconsciously picking up Tali's stuffed panda as she stared into the air, lost in her memories.

"I spent most of my life thinking a diary was a place to keep track of my flaws and weaknesses and achievements, so that I would always remember I was _nothing_ and how much work and improvement I needed." She giggled again before pulling herself out of her and looking towards Tony, obviously considering it as nothing more than a foolish child antic while her partner instantly tensed at her own oblivion of the severe manipulation she had been put through since she was nothing more than a toddler.

"Can you even read it? Ari came up with the idea that we changed language in each line so no one could understand it if they found them." She playfully attempted to grab it from him, but when Tony held it out of her reach she just shrugged her shoulders, obviously reached her quota for seriousness and emotional for one day.

"I can see that but..." Ziva just rose one of her eyebrows, waiting for her partner to continue. "I understand enough of some of these languages to make out some of the context."

"So, what does it say?" From her curious, almost chipper tone, it was obvious to Tony that she thought her brother's diary was as impersonal as her own. "That I outsmarted him in a memory test? That he beat me at the obstacle course?"

"That he wants to shoot your father." Ziva stilled slightly as her eyebrows furrowed together, a slightly suspicious look appearing in her eyes. "Because he watched him beat you up so bad you were unconscious for multiple hours." Tony didn't even notice the crack in his voice, proving that the pain he felt for her was just as bad as the anger, as he focused on Ziva's distant, dilated eyes, the panda instantly slipping from her hand. They stared shocked at each other for what felt like hours before a determined look appeared in Ziva's eyes.

"You must have misunderstood or mistranslated." She tried to once again snatch the diary from him, this time much more serious in her attempt, but less than an inch from reaching its goal her wrist was firmly caught by Tony's strong hand. She didn't look at him, her eyes still trained on the book, but knew it would be pointless to attempt pulling her hand free.

"How many times." His voice was deep and serious, causing a shiver to run through Ziva.

"Let go of me _right now_, Tony, or I swear I will..."

"You'll what? Beat me senseless like your own _dad_ did to you when you were a kid?" Ziva didn't move, but he could feel her heartbeat increasing as she tried to keep her control. "_How many times?_" He spoke slowly and with each word his voice got more intense and dangerously low. He was way too close to her ear for Ziva's comfort, and she closed her eyes as his hot breath grazed her skin.

"I don't know." Her shaking voice and the fact that she didn't know, that she _admitted_ to not knowing, spoke volumes. Releasing his grip lightly, Ziva wasted no time in pulling her hand from his, pulling the book with her.

"We should go." Trying to look busy, she picked up the stuffed animal from the floor, clutching it tightly as she looked around her for something to distract the both of them. "We need to get to the hotel."

"Hey." His voice was back to soft and caring when he grabbed her arm and turned her around so she faced him, only slightly betraying the deep worry he felt. "We don't have to go. We can stay here if you want." When all she did was look at him uncertainly, Tony forced a grin onto his face. "Even if that means dying from dust inhalation."

"My room does not yet have a bed." Sure, she was obviously aware of his attempt to lighten the mood once more, but she chose to play along with it, cause Tony's grin to grow as he realized he had yet to venture into the other rooms of this place.

"Then I'll take the couch." He wasn't sure why he was going to such lengths to spent his only night in Paris in a overly-dusty apartment instead of a nice hotel, but he figured that Ziva needed to be there, or at least trusted her to tell him if it got too much for her.

"Can we at least go get something to eat first, then?" Leave it to Ziva to bring up the _one_ thing they both knew could undoubtedly get Tony's mind off anything else. Well, that and women, and while the woman in front of him was way more important than food at the moment, he decided to let the previous subject slide for now. And his rumbling stomach sure wasn't helping him. "We can take the motorcycle."

"You're on." Putting on his sunglasses he gave her his trademark DiNozzo-grin as he nodded towards the door. He knew not to push, so he'd let her initiate the talking when she felt like it.

* * *

"Not _fair_!" Tony dramatically threw his remaining cards onto the bed, pouting like a little kid while crossing his arms in front of his chest. Ziva just chuckled as she started picking up the cards, the cards her and Tony had bought while sightseeing.

Under normal circumstances they would have opted for watching a movie, but when Tony realized during their trip to the Eiffel Tower that Ziva had never played 'Speed', he'd instantly gone searching for a deck of cards. The fact that the apartment was not yet equipped with a television either only made that decision so much easier. "Is there anything they _don't_ teach you at ninja school?"

"That is ridiculous, Tony. You obviously just taught me this game."

"And you've beaten me at it every single time." He picked up a few of the french fries they'd brought with them from the plate next to him, figuring he'd eat his sorrows away. "Stupid, crazy ninja powers." he was only mumbling the last sentence, his mouth full of fries as he spoke, and Ziva couldn't help but chuckle at the sight in front of her, at least until a yawn forced her to stop.

"We should go to bed. I've still got more sightseeing to do in the morning."

"And a witness to pick up."

"Don't even remind me." He whined as he got up from the bed, taking his fries with him. "I prefer to focus on the positive parts of this vacation." Not bothering to correct his reasoning for their trip, Ziva silently slipped off the bed and followed him, crossing her arms in front of her as she leaned up against the door frame, watching her partner change into his pajamas.

"Tony, I'm not gonna make you sleep on that... thing." She waved her hand towards the couch when he looked up at her, his pajamas pants only halfway up his legs. "You'll develop asthma within the first 10 minutes. The bed was at least covered so there's no dust on it."

"Are you trying to get me into bed with you, Zee-vah?" Snorting, Ziva rolled her eyes.

"I thought we were both adults and could share the bed, but if you don't think you can handle that..." She left the sentence hanging, and as she expected, he caved instantly.

"Of course I can handle it! Now _you_, however... Sure you can resist the famous DiNozzo charm?" Shaking her head and not even bothering to respond to his attempted banter, Ziva headed towards the restroom to prepare for bed as well, bringing the things she needed with her.

* * *

Ziva had no idea how long they'd been laying there, but she knew from Tony's breathing that he was still awake as well, staring into her back. Sure, being back in this place brought a whole ton of memories back to Ziva, but she knew there were other reasons for her partner not being able to sleep either.

"I never cared, DiNozzo." She knew what was bothering him, and when he stilled behind her it was obvious he was aware of what she was referring to. Momentarily closing her eyes she turned onto her back, moving as quietly as only Ziva could. "I used it to make me stronger, train my endurance and fighting skills."

Her fingers intervened, her hands were resting on top of the duvet covering her stomach. Although her eyes were turned towards the ceiling, she wasn't really seeing anything. It wasn't until Tony gently, but almost undetectably ran his finger down her sleeve covered arm that she turned her head towards him. It was obvious to Ziva that he was oblivious to his actions and that she tensed up slightly at his touch, as he was clearly deep in thoughts.

"And he used it to control you." Ziva just shrugged, turning her gaze back towards the ceiling. It was clear to Tony than she was aware of that now, years after anything could be done about it, but also that she really didn't seem bothered about it. And in Tony's eyes, that just made it so much worse.

"I do not want your pity or for you to feel sorry for me, Tony. There is no reason." Pushing himself up on one elbow as he was already laying on his side, he used his other hand to turn Ziva's face towards him.

"All I feel right now is anger and hatred." Her eyes flickered briefly, but Tony couldn't decipher emotions in them.

"I am sorry." She seemed so sincere and apologetic, but Tony only grew confused. "You cannot sleep, Tony, and it is all my fault." There was more to it than just sleeping and they both knew it, but neither of them felt the need to point it out.

"Don't!" The harsh tone of his voice was enough to make Ziva freeze completely besides him. "Don't you _dare_ make this about _me_." He sat up in the bed, staring intensely at his partner who stayed completely frozen, only her eyes shifting to follow his movements.

They kept staring at each other, none of them willing to make a move or even considering breaking the heavy silence for what seemed like forever. Breaking the intense atmosphere, Tony let out a deep breath as he ran his hand through his hair, looking away from his partner.

"I don't know what to do here, Ziva."

"Do not do anything." His head whipped towards her at her instant reply, not knowing whether it was an attempt to drop their conversation or if she actually did believe she was completely fine.

"I know you don't want to hear it," He spoke slow, both wanting and needing Ziva to understand how serious he was, and the way her eyes shifted and turned almost dreadful told him he had her attention. "But you need help, Ziva." Her indestructible mask was instantly back in place, but Tony knew that was inevitable.

"I _do not_ need to see a shrink!" She was obviously mad at him, but Tony took it as a good sign that she hadn't moved or run away from him. "I'm..."

"Ziva!" She glared at him, but at least she'd shut up. "I'd never force you to do anything, but I don't want to see you suffer either."

"I am _fine_, Tony. Why is it you cannot understand that?" By now Ziva was sitting up as well, ready to to fight, but Tony wasn't going to give up until he'd gotten through to her.

"Have you ever talked to _anyone_?"

"Of course not." She brushed it off completely, making it sound as though it was the most obvious thing. "There is _nothing_ to talk about." She didn't even sound mad, just like it was the most ridiculous question anyone had ever asked her.

"That's bullshit, Ziva, and you know it!" He realized straight away that the words had come out way too harsh when he saw the hurt flicker in her eyes.

"Look," Lowering the volume and forcing himself to sound calm, Tony gently bu subconsciously grabbed one of her hands, not able to keep the concern he felt out of his voice. "I'm not telling you to see a shrink. I just wish you'd talk to someone." Ziva diverted her gaze away from him, but he forced her face back towards him by placing his free hand under her chin. "_Anyone_."

"Meaning a shrink."

"No." He didn't take it personal when she pushed his hand away, knowing that to Ziva, not being fine was a weakness, and she'd never forgive herself for being weak. "Meaning a shrink, or any of your long lost family or friends." Ziva, completely lost on how to answer, just raised an eyebrow. "Gibbs or Abby or hell, even McGee."

"Why are you so set on this, Tony?" While her voice still sounded harsh and offended, it had lost some of its edge.

"Because I want you to trust us." He once again let the harsh words leave his mouth before he had a chance to consider them, but quickly realized he didn't regret them. "To trust _me_." His reasoning had obviously stunned her into silence as all she did was looking away from him. "I want you to be able to talk to any of us and know we won't judge you because of it."

"And what good will that do?" Tony had no idea how this had all happened. When they were told they were going to Paris, playing spy games and spending the night in Ari's bed had been the last things he would ever expect, and even he'd known about he would never have dared imagine having a conversation this serious with Ziva.

"It'll destroy you if you keep it all bottled up." She started shaking her head, slowly and barely detectable, but Tony saw it nonetheless.

"Well so far I have done just fine, Tony." He wasn't going to comment on that, knowing that they'd never be able to agree.

"I'm not telling you to start sharing all your secrets."

"Okay." Tony wasn't sure what to think of her comment. It sounded completely detached, indifferent, like she'd given up.

"Okay?"

"I do not want to fight, Tony." She shrugged her shoulders as if that was the only explanation needed. And Tony understood her clear as ice. She couldn't handle anything more involving emotions as she was already maxed out for the long time. If he continued to push her now he'd lose her, and everything he'd been trying to do would backfire. Ziva would just shut them all out even more.

"You're right. And we should get some sleep." The surprise showed instantly in her eyes, and it was obvious she didn't know how to respond as she just stared at him for what seemed like forever before carefully laying back down, her back towards him.

"Goodnight."

"Night, Ziva." She felt him reluctantly lay down behind her, his eyes still burning into her back. She knew their conversation had ended too abruptly for his liking, and while she was certain he wasn't going to let this go forever, she was pretty thankful at the moment. The only thing still nagging her was her conscience.

"Tony?" She forced herself not to flinch when the only response she got was a finger carefully tracing random patterns on her back, accompanied by an almost inaudible mumble. She once again turned around, but this time onto her other side so she was face to face with her partner. "I am sorry."

"I already told you, Ziva. I don't want to hear it." His voice was caring, and Ziva was surprised when he pushed a stray strand of hair out of her face.

"But I mean it, Tony." She took his hand, the one still lingering by her ear and brought it back down between them, not even realizing she didn't let go of it. "These are _my_ problems. I do not want you or anyone else to hurt because of me."

"You don't hurt us, Ziva. Yes, it kills us to know what a horrible life you had, but all we..."

"It's not all that horrible." Her voice was teasing, but it was the tiny smirk on her lips that caused him to stop. "I like my life, Tony." He couldn't help but smile at the sincerity in her voice. "I have got McGee, yes?" He playfully punched her shoulder as both of them letting out a small giggle, glad they were still able to lighten the atmosphere in the room.

"I suppose you'll have to be okay if you're able to joke about the probie." As she shrugged her shoulders as well as she could while laying down, Tony placed an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She instantly tensed up at his touch, but quickly relaxed into his embrace.

She couldn't deny the nice feeling it brought. She had feared even something as simple of a physical touch as this, so she couldn't help but feel surprised when when she managed to stay calm in Tony's embrace, if not just a little awkward. She supposed that if nothing else, at least this trip was a sign that the trust and friendship between her and Tony was slowly returning.

"If it helps, I'm starting to not hate Ari as much anymore." He felt a shallow chuckle against against him and couldn't help but feel slightly confused.

"I do not care what people think. I know he was a good person."

" I guess." They both knew he wasn't talking about what kind of person Ziva's brother had been, but rather how Ziva felt about it. "Now try to get some sleep. We can't leave without some more sightseeing first." Ziva just shook her head slightly while smiling up at him from where she was laying before burying her head into the pillow.

"Only you, DiNozzo. Only you." Tony settled for offering her his trademark smile, happy to see her eyes closing as a reply.

"Night, ninja." Besides her lips curling into a tiny smirk, there was no reaction. So Tony settled for smiling as well as he let his body succumb to sleep. He was positively sure that with time, they'd be okay.

Ziva would be okay.

* * *

Yeah, as I said, never intended for it to be this long o turn out like this. All I'd had in mind was the whole apartment thing... the rest just kinda appeared out of nowhere...

And I SUCK at titles.. I have NO CLUE! So if Anyone has a suggestion for a title (other than the current one), feel free to let me know! :D

And remember, reviews are very much appreciated, even if just to tell me I suck at english ;)


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